writing and stuff.

For the past two years I have been trying to write a serious sci-fi style novel that is an epic coming of age story that follows four former students and their growth from wide eyed inexpierinced people into adults who have seen the horrors of war and how they respond. The first one is the eye openner full of street fighting, genocide and aerial warfare.
The second is mainly a love story set against the backdrop of the genocidal war against humanity as two of the characters try to balance their feelings for each other, the fighting, their careers and life in the modern age ultimatly finding each other in the darkness.
The third is a lot darker with revenge being the central theme and leads the last two surviving characters down a dark path that puts everything they stand for in the shadows and they become the very thing they have been fighting against and only the past can redeem them.

It sounds ok... problem is I'm don't think I'm competent enough to write it... I keep concentrating on the love story in book 2 and writing odds and sods but not being disciplined enough to sit down and write it from start to finish and properly develope the characters.

In a way they are all voices from the inside of my head, or parts of my psyche. Jonathon is the brash mouthy student know all that I used to be who becomes ground down by it all, Doolan is the voice of reason that tries to stop Jonathon getting into trouble all the time and tries to balance him, Charlotte is the idealist who finds that all she imagined life to be is not and Stace is the one who worked hard and found herself thrust into this world but sees people getting promoted above her. At times different ones sound louder and I find it easier to write their scenes but the love story between Jonathon and Charlotte comes as a sorta semi-autobiographical interplay between me and 'lotte as a base line but massivly blown out of context.
Although I often think that I over do the dialogue and wonder "Do people really talk like that."

I need to sit down seriously and concentrate on writing one at a time, maybe jotting notes down for the second and third but not writing huge chunks. I'm on leave for a week soon, maybe I should just grab the laptop and go nuts, write up my half written notes and try and develope the characters into their own living people rather than extensions of my own crumbling mind. They do stand alone quite well but they just need a touch more. The odd unrequited story between Doolan and Jonathon then seems to mirror itself with Jonathon and Charlotte in book two in a way. Differences need to be made etc

The other thing is it is a serious story and the world I inhabbit now a days does swerve towards the surreal sometimes and I want to write something that is just silly... Something I would find hilarious but ultimatly would anyone else? guess you've got to just give it a shot lol

For samples and further information.... You can ask me and I may send some out lol

The strange world of the bemused

Greetings,

I'm finding my life getting more and more surreal and I think I am losing my grasp on reality with each passing day...

Thusly I thought it was probably time to commence recording my decline into giggling insanity for posterity and also for my sister the psychology lecturer so that she can write an awesome PHD.

I seem to have picked up a verbal dyslexia that leads me to put the wrong words into sentences such as yesterday instead of saying "Mushroom pickers" coming out with the surreal "Mushroom miners." Or todays high light "Pineapple workers." Which leads to a whole discussion about Pineapples working for the state at night...

My wife tells me it's a problem... alot of others that it is funny. I - as always am indecissive on the issue.

I seem to get away with it at work most of the time, in a social context but with certain people I must be very VERY careful.

Take for example "Lotte".;.. I spend a lot of time talking to "Lotte" about many things when I can, although it invariably leads back to work, but occasionally... just occaisionally I will put my foot royally in it and spend the next day or so back tracking. Once she took the wrong end of the proffered stick and in audiably spat venom in my direction and fled... three minutes later I worked out why she was angry and fled after her. About 10 minutes later that particular crease was ironed out.

I think it kind of helps with creativity and I write alot of the more surreal ideas down for posterity and although I am trying to write a serious novel I think that maybe I should just given and write a surrealist sci-fi where the characters take a walk through this odd surreal land scape that I my mind is forming...

Anyway work is calling again... In my next session I may talk further about the odd breakdown that is slowly evolving in my mind... as Bernard of black books would say... "I can feel it falling away like pieces of wet cake."